Bigfoot Attacks!

I’m watching the Hulu documentary Sasquatch right now, which so far has been pretty interesting, and got me thinking how many times has Sasquatch or Bigfoot been the named suspect or unwilling catalyst of a crime? Anywhere from he stole my homework to major crime he’s made a fairly good suspect for the “prove I’m lying” theory.

In the Hulu documentary he is blamed for savage murders in the Squatch and pot farm capital of the US. But, what other types of incidents has his name been dragged through the mud on? I found this gem digging around this morning.

According to NewsOn6.com in Oregon, Rogers County Sheriff’s deputies arrived at the scene of a shooting to learn the suspected shooter and the shootee had been on a Sasquatch hunt when one man heard a “barking noise,” which frightened him – as one might expect when one is hunting large, hairy, mythical creatures in the dead of night – which caused him to jerk and shoot his friend in the back.

This guy is using the new “Sasquatch scared the shit out of me” defense. It’s actually a pretty good plan, an accident, it was an just an “accident”. Everyone has that one friend you want to go “hunting” with, right? If you’re a Bigfoot researcher you could totally use this excuse. I mean no one will ever go Bigfooting with you again, but now you don’t have to have that awkward “I don’t want to be your friend anymore” speech.

Here’s another interesting tale…

“The witness who talked to the missing man and child, went on to state that Fullmer told her he was “tripping out all night and could hear things but didn’t know what they were”; Fullmer also told her “Bigfoot had waved at them and bears paraded for [the 5-year-old boy] to keep him calm,” deputies said.

Fullmer told the witness that “they slept under a skidsteer,” and that when Fullmer and the boy were leaving the woods, he had the boy shake a tree (like Bigfoot) so they could be found, according to the complaint. The man was charged with child endangerment”

Although Bigfoot wasn’t charged with anything here, and may have actually been a hero. Dancing and prancing to Bare Necessities so the boy wouldn’t be scared, and most likely the one teaching an invaluable skill of tree shaking, he still got his hairy ass involved, however indirectly with a crime.

He’s such an easy fall guy, he makes himself a perfect target, first with that whole “Green Wall” bullshit, never ratting out another Bigfoot, or coming forward as a witness to probably hundreds of murders out there in the forest. His hiding out from us, leaves him vulnerable, and we can blame him for whatever we want.

I hope wherever he is, he can peek in a window and watch Hulu and other docs about him and maybe decide to come forward to set the story straight for all of it. Till then…

“I’m sorry officer, I know I was going a hundred, but I was trying to get away, did you see the huge ass ape thingy chasing me!’

It’s going to work too, he can’t prove it wasn’t there. 😉

Enjoy your day everyone….

Fire on the Mountain 🔥🔥🔥

I thought while I had a second on this beautiful snowy New England day I’d share one of my ridiculous camping, what not to do memories. Well ones that are funny now anyway, maybe not funny then. But my first few times camping without family in my teens were something, so here’s the first…more to come.

I have always been an outdoors girl. When I was little I was out dawn till dusk, later if I could get away with it, (I didn’t really my mother definitely had the sight) but I had been outdoors enough to convince my parents to camp on my friends land. He had acres of beautiful land. We camped every weekend.

So when I asked to camp away in the mountains of Maine , and she knew many friends would be there she said yes. Another friend of mine took care of a ski lodge in the summer months so my friend and I went up to camp. There was a clam bake that day sending the beautiful food smells on up to the bears hanging out up there. But because we were young (and stupid) we decided to sleep in a tent outside in the beautiful night air and not inside the lodge. (Again, I refer you to stupid).

When nightfall and the fire was all out and everything was quiet we heard some loud noises, things banging etc, and I knew, knew it had to be a bear.

A few minutes later all four of us in the tent saw the typical shadow of a big bear fall on the tent. And mind you, the bear could have been small but a shadow makes it look huge! We realized too, one of us brought the food cooler into the tent (Stupid as above).

So we needed a plan, so our friend pulled out his knife, cut out the back of the tent, and we all ran into the lodge like our ass was on fire. It didn’t follow, but them it didn’t need to, we pushed the cooler to him before we ran. He was able to enjoy some steak and eggs.

We survived the bear and learned to actually do what the camping guide said to do. Don’t put your food where you sleep. Hang it from the tree.

Sleep in the damn lodge next year.

Needless to say when I got home I just said it was a totally awesome time, years later I did tell her about the bear. She wasn’t amused…

If you have a funny camping tale I’d love to share it. You can message me here or send your funny tale to sasysquatchgirl@gmail.com…