paranormal and cryptozoology

Well it’s that time of year again. One of the few days you fools leave me alone in the woods to myself, while you go try to get blown up by fireworks 💥.

I myself am not a fan of explosions and fire. Hair catches fire to easily ya know. That is why you never see any evidence of fire from us. No sir..but no matter how many times your houses, lawns, decks and fingers catch fire you keep on keeping on.

Someone has even set the forest on fire, my forest here…on freakin fire…that cannot happen again. Some of my forest friends did not make out as lucky as I.

You don’t know this, but while you’re taking a break from following me, I get a chance to observe you. I’ve even crept up to the edge of your backyards. And let me tell you something. You have not seen stupid if you haven’t observed a backyard Fourth of July party. Allow me share some of my field notes with you..

1. First off, It’s to Hot to have an outdoor party, your guests are roasting and you don’t have a pool. New rule, if you don’t have a pool, you are not allowed to have a summer party. Period.

2. Omg! Tell that awful band to stop croaking already. Dear hairy god, could they be anymore Wedding Singer bad.

3.There actually can be to much red, white and blue. Blinking glasses, hats and even shirts. People, just no.

4. Now let’s talk about cuisine. I’m sorry, how long exactly has that potato salad been out. And are those flys on top of it. Those hot dogs are more shriveled than, well all right I’ll spare you the end of that sentence. But it has a lot to do with cold water. Which no one here has to worry about , because you don’t have a pool!!!!

5. And now your host..blinking flag moron. Your friends husband, whom you can’t deal with but you feel obligated. He has no shirt on. Hairier chest than me with blinking shorts that say “is that a light in my shorts, or does he just automatically light up whenever I see you?” He is the biggest drunk there. You feel violated when he just stands next to you, and you’re planning out how to escape and take his children with you.

6. The other guests. Really, hahaha if those were my friends I’d take off and live in the woods somewhere. Oh wait, I already do. Guess mine suck too.

7. Let’s get ready to rumble..and now the main event. The one not staring Ryan O’Neil and Barbara Streisand. The fireworks 🎇 💥🔥🙌. The ones you are about to light up, next to all the other fireworks. Fool. But I’m prepared to run, always. That’s what I do. You have no clue what you’re doing. You’re letting blinking dick light them, while children are around and you’re only 20 feet from your house! And he’s throwing the used ones in the fire pit! The one 10 feet from the fireworks. Omg, I can’t watch anymore it’s to much.

The house, lawn and hairy chest went up in flames. The end of field 📝 notes.

I’d like to say if I shared this with you, you would learn a lesson and be safer and smarter next year. But this is the second time blinking dick had burned his hair off…

All pics found on google

I’m not quite sure what makes one a believer or not. I’m not sure why some people are, as they say, open enough to see things of a paranormal nature but it’s true. There are two types of people in the world. One who sees with all their senses and one who is closed off. In our house it was my father who was closed off. The bread winner, the one who worked till he dropped and was never home. Thus we were stuck in our house till we could move ourselves out. But my mother knew that we were in trouble the day we moved in. Stuck there for life knowing my dad would never believe her, or us…Here is her story.

The mother ship has landed in Hell…

Her tale started on day one. The moving was tough going. She had my older sisters and soon to be me to contend with. Don’t get me wrong, she was a tough cookie. But we had a very big house and all the arrangements and unpacking were going to be on her. The day of the move she was exhausted so she laid down for a second in my sister’s bed. Upon getting a great shoulder rub she said, “Thank you junior,” to my dad (him…rub shoulders? Never). That should have been a red flag. But he didn’t answer. No one did, because no one was there. She knew on day one we had to get the hell out of there. There was a period of quiet here and there she said, or later what we would all call dormant. We would have periods off and on when the house would feel less, I don’t know, heavy, I guess you could say. We knew when “they” weren’t around. So it was awhile before her next encounter happened. But it did happen, at night, when she was sleeping in her bed. A place where everyone should feel safe. But as she slept she felt as if someone was staring at her and it woke her up. When she opened her eyes, an old woman was standing over her staring at her. She laid there for hours in shock and fear she said. She would never sleep much at night again after that, and later on, nether would we. And just so you get an idea of what she, and later we were going through, my dad died three years ago, still not really believing. Accepting it finally, but not necessarily believing. He saw one suspicious thing the entire time we lived there. We were screwed…

To be Continued…

Category: paranormal and cryptozoology

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