Bigfoot Attacks!

I’m watching the Hulu documentary Sasquatch right now, which so far has been pretty interesting, and got me thinking how many times has Sasquatch or Bigfoot been the named suspect or unwilling catalyst of a crime? Anywhere from he stole my homework to major crime he’s made a fairly good suspect for the “prove I’m lying” theory.

In the Hulu documentary he is blamed for savage murders in the Squatch and pot farm capital of the US. But, what other types of incidents has his name been dragged through the mud on? I found this gem digging around this morning.

According to NewsOn6.com in Oregon, Rogers County Sheriff’s deputies arrived at the scene of a shooting to learn the suspected shooter and the shootee had been on a Sasquatch hunt when one man heard a “barking noise,” which frightened him – as one might expect when one is hunting large, hairy, mythical creatures in the dead of night – which caused him to jerk and shoot his friend in the back.

This guy is using the new “Sasquatch scared the shit out of me” defense. It’s actually a pretty good plan, an accident, it was an just an “accident”. Everyone has that one friend you want to go “hunting” with, right? If you’re a Bigfoot researcher you could totally use this excuse. I mean no one will ever go Bigfooting with you again, but now you don’t have to have that awkward “I don’t want to be your friend anymore” speech.

Here’s another interesting tale…

“The witness who talked to the missing man and child, went on to state that Fullmer told her he was “tripping out all night and could hear things but didn’t know what they were”; Fullmer also told her “Bigfoot had waved at them and bears paraded for [the 5-year-old boy] to keep him calm,” deputies said.

Fullmer told the witness that “they slept under a skidsteer,” and that when Fullmer and the boy were leaving the woods, he had the boy shake a tree (like Bigfoot) so they could be found, according to the complaint. The man was charged with child endangerment”

Although Bigfoot wasn’t charged with anything here, and may have actually been a hero. Dancing and prancing to Bare Necessities so the boy wouldn’t be scared, and most likely the one teaching an invaluable skill of tree shaking, he still got his hairy ass involved, however indirectly with a crime.

He’s such an easy fall guy, he makes himself a perfect target, first with that whole “Green Wall” bullshit, never ratting out another Bigfoot, or coming forward as a witness to probably hundreds of murders out there in the forest. His hiding out from us, leaves him vulnerable, and we can blame him for whatever we want.

I hope wherever he is, he can peek in a window and watch Hulu and other docs about him and maybe decide to come forward to set the story straight for all of it. Till then…

“I’m sorry officer, I know I was going a hundred, but I was trying to get away, did you see the huge ass ape thingy chasing me!’

It’s going to work too, he can’t prove it wasn’t there. 😉

Enjoy your day everyone….

Human Engine…

Art by Shirley McDaniels

“How can we co-exist?

If you can’t respect…

Respect this

My home

Your Forest, my home

You can’t expect me to keep wandering

Never to be with my peoples

Just keep wandering alone

You think it’s wonderful

that you may have found my nest

Not a scientific find,

it’s the place I stop, the place I rest

I keep going further in and further in

To stay out if your species ever expanding way

But you just keep coming and coming at me

Every. Single. Day.

My guttural call out

Telling you how scared and stressed I am,

to just please keep away

But you’re oblivious

So you knock and knock

And you keep coming anyway

So co-exit? I don’t think so

You want it all, the greed, your ego

Would that you could go your own way

and that I could go mine

But the engine keeps coming

Cutting through the forest,

like you’re chopping out a mine

The hum of that never ending engine

grinding and grinding

Taking it all In your human way

The way of mankind, yes, taking it all

Don’t leave nothing behind

And force me and mine out of safety,

out of hiding…”

Swamp Beastie…Tale of Elmer the Elusive

This beastly tale is how legends and folklore get started. This article states that a women from Kent, Virginia was in a “state of nervous prostration” when she came across a wild beastie in her backyard. When her family went out to find it, it was gone and believed to have disappeared into the Chickahominy Swamp.

She described it as having eyes of light brown, ears like a sheep, body like a large snake with scales. You get the idea, a very scary creature or possibly even a future cryptid if we go by this description.

When the “mystery monster” that they called “The Thing that Thumped” and “Elmer the Elusive” was caught, it was found to be the most elusive and cutest Cryptid ever, the Virginia Opossum!

If you follow me at all, then you know my most favorite things are beasties large and small. And of all the wild beasties out there, I absolutely adore the Virginia Opossum. Such a sweet and gentle creature. They aren’t dangerous and their defense is well…playing possum. The don’t carry rabies ever and they rid your yards of evil ticks!

When the townspeople finally found the Opossum and family, they thought they were so cute that they decided to keep them as pets!

And the legend of Elmer the Elusive lives on today….